Low

there's a low point to this process and i'm feeling it.

at the lowest point i wonder who the hell i think i am acting all cool like i can own a dress company and make awesome dresses. seriously. look at that face. who put cool on that face? because the face is not cool.

the face is naive.

i've hit a major bump in the road and i'm getting discouraged. i don't know how to fix my sizing problem without sacrificing my original design. i'm not sure my mom will be able to help. i don't know how to communicate with the manufacturer, i don't know why my sample came back so screwed up. i have no answers and i look at my silly face and i wonder

who do i think i am?! i'm just pretending.

right now there is no gas in my car and no money in my wallet. i've got a vase full of quarters, but does that really help when there's no gas in the vehicle? bill tells me to drive to coinstar.

coinstar? the depressing action of driving to coinstar and dumping a bunch of change so i can escape my house is awful. i say it's because i've got too much to do and that's too time consuming, but it's because it makes me feel so pathetic.

unemployment has taken over a month to be instated. i've started a freelance design job that will send me a check for work done last week, "sometime this week." i wonder if they have even the slightest clue how not helpful "sometime this week" is.

what a whiner.

and a faker.